jennyrockstar

i've been digging this whole of depression for a long time. i just keep getting myself deeper and deeper. as im in there theres tons of people standing at the top looking in and a few trying to help, but i ignore them all and just keep digging. the farther a get the harder it is to hear them. i find some alcohol and other things which stop my digging for a short time, but then i just keep going. the farther i go the more alcohol there is for me. i keep on digging then someone yells from the top, usualy something i would ignore, but i look up. theres this new person trying to help. i warn him all the dangers of knowing me and he dosnt care. for a long time i stop digging and just talk to him. it seems like the more i talk to him the closer i become to the surface. then when im almost there he reaches in and completly pulls me out. i get to see everything i was missing for so long and i loved it. i go to hug him then hes gone just like that, but the momentum from my failed hug sets me off balence and i fall. down i go back into my hole of depression only now the force from my fall has made the hole much deeper. i look up but hes not there ao i continue to dig

as you can probaly guess theres a story behind all of this
im a depressed bitch with anger problems and no people skills
i want to die so bad and i have for awhile
but im too much of a coward to take my own life
then i met danny
hes the most amazing guy i've ever met
but i was so scared he would treat me like all the other guys i've known did
they see a pretty face and fall in love
then they see all the ugly shit behind the face and run away
he didnt do that
he excepted me no matter what
but i was still scared he just didnt see it yet
and he would just leave me when i let him in
therefor i kept him at a distance
but this time because i did that i lost him
hes not talking to me right now
because of that distance i made
and im just back to my usual cycle